The Journey to a Family of Five

A Real Adoption Story from Unplowed Ground Mom Kristy Floyd

{This month’s post comes from Kristy Floyd. Kristy has a home filled with love and missing socks most days. She is a wife of almost 12 years to her best friend, Dane, and she is mommy to her Irish triplets: two girls and one son—Bella, Brenley, and Mathan. God is currently expanding her journey through telling their family's story of adoption and giving her encouragement to write and speak with the gifts He has given her.}

My husband, Dane, and I have known each other for about 21 years. We were high school best friends that everyone knew would marry, but us. Our first thoughts of adoption were about six years into our friendship and the start of our budding relationship. While talking on a ride home from college, an orange moon outside my window and my feet hanging in the summer breeze, we found that God had brought us together in the unique idea of adoption. I have childhood friends that were from Korea, that had shown me the effect adoption has on a family and a community. Despite the differences in appearance and no relation at all, their family’s connectedness left me in awe of what was possible.

Fast forward six years, we were married and about to have our daughter, Brenley. It was honestly never our intention to have biological children because we knew we wanted to adopt, but God touched our hearts one day with the desire to have a baby, as well as adopt. Pregnancy was hard on me and solidified in our hearts to keep pushing for adoption one day.

When we started the process of adoption, a little over a year later, Brenley was around 18 months old. We waited for five more years as an open home with hopes of a phone call saying that we had been matched. In those years we battled with questioning the commission God had planted in our hearts, questioning why we weren’t enough to be “matched,” questioning if we had been lost in the system again. Many days seemed to bring frustration and hopelessness. We even had disclosure on a sibling set, where after driving for hours to go to the meeting we realized that we weren’t matched but were being a possible hope as the boys went to court that next week needing a possible family. The drive back was the hardest couple of hours I thought I would ever face, as we knew they were not ours to hold. Another picture led us to a sibling set that we were in the running for, and yet again, we were not the family that God intended for them. Tears and thoughts of closing our home for good were frequent as we rounded year five, honestly. Yet, multiple phone calls, emails, face-to-face interactions with workers at events, and home-visits concluded with a phone call on March 23, 2018 of a sibling group that would join our home just a few weeks shy of our 11th wedding anniversary.

Upon disclosure, where we met our son and daughter on paper, God laid on our hearts that they were ours. We knew it before we even left the building that day. Again hours of driving, but this time with the knowledge that they were ours, we were filled with so much hope and excitement. Meeting them face to face only weeks later confirmed the peace in our hearts. We were going to be a family of FIVE.

Only two weeks later, that little boy and little girl moved into our house, hoping to find a home. They did, but it has not been the easiest road. Our biological daughter lost her whole world, in a sense, and we had no idea how to handle it. Our adoptive daughter was accustomed to raging to get her way, and our adoptive son just was. He stayed out of the way, and was known to say, “There she goes again” whenever his sister would let loose.

At many points, I will tell you, we wanted to give up. It has tested our ability to parent and our marriage so much. My best friend, my husband, my love was sleeping next to me and yet we were worlds apart. There have been days that it tests our sheer humanity of whether or not we can handle the transference of our kids’ trauma or have understanding that because of their trauma we speak two different languages. This has all been a long road and one that I prayerfully seek will continue with attachment and healing.

We have been a family for almost a year now. With therapeutic parenting techniques from Unplowed Ground, an excellent therapist, wonderful people at The Call of Saline County, and an astonishing amount of prayer, we are doing well.

Adoption isn’t easy. You can read all the books and all the blogs and be prepared, but without a community that will stand with you, we honestly would not be where we are today. Our family has grown from three to five within what feels like the blink of an eye, but we have gained a son and daughter, as well as a new way to parent, invaluable friends and support, and the recognition of compassion and grace that God unconditionally gives daily.

 
This picture was the beginning of a new story for all of us, no matter how long we had been together. The shirts come from Harry Potter where Severus Snape reveals to Harry Potter and Dumbledore that he has lived his whole life keeping his promise to Harry's mom, the love of his life, that out of that love he would do anything to protect and care for her son, Harry. We love the Harry Potter books as a family, and honestly we are fulfilling God's promise with these kids that no matter the circumstance, this commitment embodies the promise we are making, just as Severus did, to "Always."  - Kristy

This picture was the beginning of a new story for all of us, no matter how long we had been together. The shirts come from Harry Potter where Severus Snape reveals to Harry Potter and Dumbledore that he has lived his whole life keeping his promise to Harry's mom, the love of his life, that out of that love he would do anything to protect and care for her son, Harry. We love the Harry Potter books as a family, and honestly we are fulfilling God's promise with these kids that no matter the circumstance, this commitment embodies the promise we are making, just as Severus did, to "Always."

- Kristy

 


Veronica Reeves